Question mark

1.  Primary Doctor - Thought I had Celiac disease, but test came back negative.

2.  Oncologist - Has no idea what is wrong with me and testing me for everything under the sun.

3.  Gastrologist - Had no input.  Just stuck his finger up my rectum and made an appointment for my     colonoscopy.

4.  Rheumatologist - Stated, "Rheumatologist are the last resort when doctor's are unsure of a diagnosis.  I have seen patients who are not a text book case like 'myself' and they will never be diagnosed.  It was usually just a bad infection and went away on it's own."  Results came back today and I am clear of any rheumatoid issues.  I do have an antibody for Lupus, but people can carry it and could be a red-herring. My oncologist will be consulting with my rheumatologist and will get back to me shortly.

5.  Biopsy - Took a month for the report to tell me negative for Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, but inconclusive for the other 40 types.

6.  Colonoscopy - Grossly normal, as stated on the report.

7.  Endoscopy - Clear

8.  Over 20 vials of blood within the last 2 1/2 months- Currently my white blood cells at 20,000, elevated red blood cells, platelets, ESR (E. Sedimatation Rate), CRP (c-reactive protein at 88.9, normal is 4.9), LVH (Lactate dehydrogenase) and Alk phosphatase (ALK). These test confirm massive inflammation and because of this I am anemic.

Next up, infectious disease doctors will consult with me and see if I have Lyme disease, cat scratch fever and any other crazy illnesses the world has to offer.  If those test are negative, I will need a bone marrow test to see if lymphoma is back on the list.  If that is negative, another biopsy of my lymph node will be done.  This time it will mean surgery where one will be taking out and looked at thoroughly.  I would be seeing the guru of lymphoma at Cornell for his expertize.  After that I am not sure what is going to happen.

I thought I would have answers already.  I can't stand being poked and prodded any longer.  It is driving me insane and making me highly depressed.  My twelve weeks are almost up and I need to go back to work.  No work, no money, no money, no house, no house, no marriage, no marriage, no kids.  Sometimes I think if I was to get hit by a car and die, maybe a autopsy would give my family and loved ones some answers.  You can't get more thorough than that.

If they can't find anything that's great I guess.  But I spent all this time being a damn Guinea pig and worrying. Why are my CBCs coming back high?  Why are my lymph nodes swollen to the size of ping pong balls?  There has to be a reason, it just can't be a reactive lymph node. 

I feel like being destructive.  I wish I still did drugs so I can just numb myself from all this insanity.