Round 2

I woke up yesterday morning at 4am, stumbling to the refrigerator.  I turned on the light, squinted my eyes and reached for a can of ginger ale and a bottle of magnesium cultrate. I turned on the television to find more breaking news about the Japan disaster and watched it on low so I wouldn't wake Mark.  I poured both drinks into a large cup and sipped it for a half an hour.This was the last step of the cleansing process of my colonoscopy which I was having in 4 hours.  I was scared not for the procedure, but what if I would not wake up from the anesthesia. 

I walked through those glass doors at 8:30am and was greeted by an old Jewish woman.  She advised me to sign in on the brown clipboard and take a seat.  I sat there with my mother for about 10 minutes and then my name was called.  I had to sign a bunch of papers for the hospital and doctor, and paid a $250.00 co-pay for the procedure.  I was told to follow this African-American nurse, who lead me to the white swinging doors.  My heart was racing and I asked to go to the bathroom for a moment. I looked at myself in the mirror and spoke to myself like I was crazy.  I wished that nothing would go wrong and that the doctor would not sneeze while doing the procedure.  I was not prepared for surgery if anything went wrong and just wanted the hour to fly by.

I was brought to a locker room and was told to take off all my clothes, except for my bra.  I was given a hospital gown and was told to put all my things in the plastic hospital bag.  Once I was done, I put all my things into the locker, closed it, and walked out the door.

I was greeted by another nurse and was told I should have not went to the bathroom since I needed to give urine.  She was upset with the other nurse and apologized for the mistake.  She gave me a sanitized cup and requested to try and squeeze out at much out as possible. I went back to the bathroom, took a deep breath, and shook my head.  So far, not so good.

Again, I walked out of the bathroom and was lead to a gurney.  A young Asian woman came over who asked me questions with her broken English.  What medications was I allergic to?  Have I had any surgeries? Do I currently take any medications?  As these questions were being thrown at me, I was given an IV in my arm which would assist the distribution of the anesthesia. Another person came over to me, this time a young Spanish man who smiled at me.  I felt comfort from him and said I am a nervous wreck.  He said, "Don't worry, you are having a makeover right now.  The attic and the basement."  I laughed while he asked if I have any tattoos.  I told him four and he said, "come on that is more scary than this." 

He wheeled me to a room which had all these computers and a smell of antibacterial soap.  Two people were already in there with masks on and latex gloves.  They introduced themselves as the anesthesiologist and a nurse who was going to assist my gastrologist for the procedure.  I told them I was petrified and the anesthesiologist said he just had to calm down another woman that was in the room before me.  I laughed and a female nurse walked into the room.  She helped the other two gentlemen in prepping the room for the doctor.  She looked at me and said I reminded her of a character from the soap opera General Hospital, Robin.  I told her that was the second time I was told that and smiled. 

My doctor walked into the room and explained to me he would be performing a colonoscopy and endoscopy.  He would be looking into my small intestine as well as my colon.  This means a tube with a camera will be inserted through my mouth and down my esophagus . I was told to turn on my left side and relax.  The anesthesiologist started injecting me with this white liquid that looked like Kaopectate.  Before I had the chance to say, "Is that the aneste..."  I was out like a light.

When I woke up, the first thing I did was look up behind me at the screen to check my vitals.  I know I am a paranoid freak.  I then looked around and saw I was in the recovery room with other patients around me.  A female nurse, around my age, came over to me and asked how I was doing.  I told her okay and she gave me some apple juice.  My mother came in the room and smiled.  I told her I was fine to calm her nerves.  The nurse came back over and explained to us that everything looked good with the colonoscopy and the endoscopy.  I am clean and there was no polyps which had to be removed.  There was also no sign of Celiac disease and will need to follow up in two weeks. 

A sign of relief and despair came over my body all at once.  Relief that the procedure was a success, but despair because once again no answers.  I was sure I had celiac disease based on all I have read. 

The IV was taken out of my arm and the heart monitor pads were removed.  The procedure and recovery took all of an hour and a half and I was told I may go home.  I got up and felt like I had a couple of shots of liquor and felt drunk... felt pretty good actually.  My mother was laughing at me because I was giggling like an idiot and would stop talking.  I went back to the locker room and stumbled to put my clothes on.  We walked back out the glass doors, and I felt the cool breeze and the warm sun on my face.  As my mother and I walked to the car, I thought to myself, round three rheumatoid specialist.  Now to be tested for Lupus and Rheumatoid Arthritis.