1,2,3...

Four.  Stage 4 Classic Hodgkin's Lymphoma is the complete and final diagnosis.  That number seems scary, I know, but once again I didn't cry or get shaken up. It is not a death sentence like the other cancers in the world.  I have a great cure rate, 85-95% are the statistics.  My oncologist informed me on everything from treatments to other tests I will need to take.  I will probably start chemo some time in August. However, I have to first speak to my gynecologist and seek his approval if I need to freeze my eggs, or if I will be completely fertile after treatment.  My oncologist doesn't think I will have an issue, but since I also have Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome, I should get a second opinion. 

August 25th, will probably be the first day I will be hooked up to a chemo drip... ABVD they call it. Three to four hours I will have this poison running through my veins killing everything in sight.  I will be sick that day and probably the next, but I was told after that I will be able to do my normal routine, like food shopping and laundry.  I want to try and schedule my appointments for Thursdays, where Fridays I will work from home and have the weekend to recuperate.  I cannot take a leave of absence like I did before.  I need to save for my wedding, which cancer will not stop me from having.  Chemo will be once a week, every two weeks for six months.  I will be completed with treatment hopefully by March, which will be months before the happiest day of my life. 

I will start to lose my hair 1-2 weeks after my first treatment.  I may be completely bald, or I may lose patches my oncologist said.  He will give me a prescription for a wig, which will be covered by my insurance company.  I will also have to be on antibiotics since I will have an extremely low white blood cell counts and will be highly accessible to infections.  My plan in order to not to get sick will be taking the express bus to work instead of the nasty train, and wearing a surgical mask and gloves at the workplace.  I deal with a lot of paper which is being transported from once place to another.  The messengers who deliver these packages are nasty and who knows what they carry.  Plus, there are some people who I work with that are not the most hygienic. 

I do not want my cancer to stop me from being normal.  I was told I have the"best" cancer to get, and will be fine in six  months.  I know I will have my good days and my bad days, but I will get through it.  This will make me a stronger person and allow me to open up my eyes to the little things in life.  I will try not wearing a wig and will wrap my head with a scarf.  It is going to be too hot to wear something heavy like a fake hair on my head in the summer.  I will probably be pre-menopausal, so I want to be as comfortable as possible.

It is so surreal I am going through this at 28 years old.  I did write in my first blog I wanted something exciting to happen in my life, well I guess I got what I wished for.

Well we have a diagnosis after 4 months....

... four months of blood test, four months of many doctors feeling here, feeling there.  A poke, a jab, a pinch, a pill.  All these things which should have lasted for days, lasted for months.  A small cut of the neck, and a removal of a lymph node which has been in the same spot for 2 years, gave the answer to all the questions.

CANCER.

Classic Hodgkin's Lymphoma was the diagnosis.  I went into the bathroom at worked and looked at myself in the mirror when the doctor was talking to me. I didn't cry, I didn't even stop and stare in space.  I knew I had it when everyone was in denial.  I actually felt a weight lifted off my shoulders.  No more questions of what is wrong with me.  I finally am able to think about making myself better and beating whatever it was. After the call, I went into the kitchen at work and ate my lunch like a regular day.

The doctor appointment is next Thursday with my oncologist.  He will let me know what the next steps are and how to deal with it.  I will have to get a PET scan and a bone marrow test to find out what stage I am in,  then I will know if I need chemo, radiation, chemo/radiation, or chemo/stem cell.  I will also need to take my eggs and Mark's sperm to freeze embryos.  This is to allow me to have babies after treatment and when I'm well.  I don't see myself have treatment though for another month.

I still can't believe I am a cancer patient.  Is something wrong with me that I can't stop saying it. I know it's going to be an emotional roller coaster, but I have a large support system and the doctor said I have nothing to worry about.  Yes I will be tired, yes I will be sore and weak, and yes I will lose my hair.  But after all of these meaingnless things, I will be better and live a long and happy life.  I will have my wedding, have my babies and enjoy life.  So don't be sad for me.  Instead support me and know that I am okay with all of this and its just another bump in the road (roe-add) LOL.... Tommy Boy moment.