Inconclusive

Getting dressed today, I decided to cover my hair.  Last time I went to the Cancer Center I felt very uncomfortable being around women who lost theirs while fighting the battle.  Some of them stared at me with those empty eyes and my stomach fell to the floor.  This time I was prepared.  I put my hair up and covered it with my chocolate crotchet beanie.  I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, would I have to do this for months or even a year, minus the ponytail which is hiding?  Mark came into the room and said I looked cute.  I put a smile on my face, but still had the thought in the back of my mind.

I walked into the Cancer Center and looked around. I was praying this is the last time I would ever have to walk into this place.  To the right of me was chemotherapy, to the left of me was the door to the outside.  Which way would this meeting go?  What path will I be taking?

The hospital bracelet with my information was put on my wrist and I received the restaurant looking buzzer.  When the buzzer blinked its red lights and started vibrating, I walked into the other waiting room and had my blood taken.  My name was called 15 minutes later and I went into the sunflower colored waiting room where the doctor informed me of my biopsy results.

-  The markers are still inconclusive, which means it is not lymphoma for now.

-  The blood results from the last four vials which were taken on 2/22, came up positive for a rheumatoid conditions.  Could be Lupus.

-  My CBCs came back from the blood work which was just taken, and my white blood cells are back up to 19,000.  This could possibly be due to the throat and ear infection I am fighting now.

The oncologist requested I see a rheumatoid specialist before my next appointment with him.  The specialist informed my oncologist if the biopsy came back, and there was no lymphoma, he would like to see me. I honestly do not want to do anything until I have my colonoscopy done, which is next Thursday.  (It had to be rescheduled due to my fever.) My family doctor thinks all my answers will come from that procedure, and the endoscopy as well. 

I was also asked by my oncologist that he would like me to see another doctor, but at Cornell in Manhattan this time. This doctor is a lymphoma specialist who will try and provide me more information.  I was told that I will probably need to get another biopsy done; this time a whole lymphnode will probably be taken from my body.   The specimen they took from me the first time may have not been a good candidate to test for Lymphoma.  The oncologist told me a story where he had a patient who did three biopsies, where the third one taken showed up positive for lymphoma.

Great, I will be a guinea pig for the next couple of weeks.  More poking and prodding, when is this going to end.