Well we have a diagnosis after 4 months....

... four months of blood test, four months of many doctors feeling here, feeling there.  A poke, a jab, a pinch, a pill.  All these things which should have lasted for days, lasted for months.  A small cut of the neck, and a removal of a lymph node which has been in the same spot for 2 years, gave the answer to all the questions.

CANCER.

Classic Hodgkin's Lymphoma was the diagnosis.  I went into the bathroom at worked and looked at myself in the mirror when the doctor was talking to me. I didn't cry, I didn't even stop and stare in space.  I knew I had it when everyone was in denial.  I actually felt a weight lifted off my shoulders.  No more questions of what is wrong with me.  I finally am able to think about making myself better and beating whatever it was. After the call, I went into the kitchen at work and ate my lunch like a regular day.

The doctor appointment is next Thursday with my oncologist.  He will let me know what the next steps are and how to deal with it.  I will have to get a PET scan and a bone marrow test to find out what stage I am in,  then I will know if I need chemo, radiation, chemo/radiation, or chemo/stem cell.  I will also need to take my eggs and Mark's sperm to freeze embryos.  This is to allow me to have babies after treatment and when I'm well.  I don't see myself have treatment though for another month.

I still can't believe I am a cancer patient.  Is something wrong with me that I can't stop saying it. I know it's going to be an emotional roller coaster, but I have a large support system and the doctor said I have nothing to worry about.  Yes I will be tired, yes I will be sore and weak, and yes I will lose my hair.  But after all of these meaingnless things, I will be better and live a long and happy life.  I will have my wedding, have my babies and enjoy life.  So don't be sad for me.  Instead support me and know that I am okay with all of this and its just another bump in the road (roe-add) LOL.... Tommy Boy moment.